Baby body language reading the basics

How many times do we joke that babies really should come with a manual? But seriously, it’s true. Being a rookie mum entails gobbling up advice from other mums, a lot of late night Google searches, and most importantly, tuning in and listening to your instincts. Slowly, over the weeks and months of being together, you will learn to spot some signs that tell you what your baby wants and needs – the cues are all there.

‘From newborns to toddlers, children use a wide variety of gestures and actions to communicate with the adults around them. Indeed without them, caring for a child would be extremely difficult,’ says Emma Howard, ex-nanny and author of Baby Body Language. ‘Babies are experts on the use and understanding of body language, as they have no other means of communication.’ Here, we take a look at some common baby behaviors and what they mean.

SUDDEN ARM JERKS

WHAT IT MEANS… The Moro reflex is a normal, involuntary response to stimuli seen in newborns that usually disappears by the time a baby is around four months old. You may notice your baby jolt awake with a gasp with their arms extended, followed by them curling up in the fetal position. Swaddling or keeping baby held close to you as they sleep can help to reduce the Moro reflex. ‘We have a noisy home so when Rudy was tiny he would often be woken accidentally by one of the other kids,’ says mum of four, Heather. ‘He’d startle with such a jerk, with his arms spread out like he was falling – and then he’d cry. I’d try to prevent him from waking like this by babywearing around the house, or playing white noise to drown out the household din while he slept.’

RUBBING EYES

WHAT IT MEANS…It’s a classic sign that your baby is ready to nap when they rub their eyes. But why do they do this? ‘As baby gets tired, muscles in their eyes become sore, and just like in an adult who uses a particular muscle too much, it will become tender. Rubbing relieves this discomfort. It also encourages tear ducts to start producing moisture, as tired eyes are often hot and dry,’ says Emma. When you spot this sleep sign, it’s time to stop playing and start soothing your baby until they nod off.

HEAD TURNING AND ROOTING

WHAT IT MEANS… When a newborn frantically moves their head from side to side or makes sucking motions with their mouth on the chest or shoulder of whoever is carrying them, it’s a strong hunger cue – they’re actively looking for food. This automatic relax, called ‘rooting’, turns into a voluntary action at around three months old. You can ‘ask’ your baby if they’re hungry by stroking their cheek. ‘If I stroke Ella gently on the cheek and she turns, mouth open, to suckle on my finger, then I know she’s ready to be fed again, even before she cries. She reminds me of a hungry squirrel when she does it,’ says mum Liza.

CLENCHING THEIR FISTS

WHAT IT MEANS… A baby tightly clenching their tiny ists is a common sight, especially when feeding. But what’s the deal? Are they as stressed out and tense as they look? Well, not necessarily. ‘A baby is born with lots of relaxed and one of them is the Palmar relax. If you put your finger in your baby’s palm they will automatically close their ist tightly. When your baby is awake you may notice their closed its a lot. Sometimes before a feed, when your baby is very hungry and crying, they will have very tight ists, but as they start to feed, the hands will relax and open. This is usually a good sign that they have a full tummy and are ready to sleep,’ says Fiona Cooke, a maternity nurse, mum of two and author of A Helpful Guide to a Happy Baby

KICKING THEIR LEGS

WHAT IT MEANS… ‘I’m happy and I really want to play!’ is often the meaning behind a frantic kicking of the legs – and more than likely, a lot of arm waving will be going on too. ‘Within minutes of popping Jack under his play gym, he’ll be madly kicking his legs – but he gets so excited by the dangling giraffes, lights and music, that he soon wears himself out,’ says mum Abigail. Four-to-six-month-old babies can easily become over-stimulated when engaging with their multi-sensory toys. When your baby has had too much excitement they may start to cry so you’ll need to switch gears to calm them down. ‘Don’t expect the baby to be able to go straight from their play station to bed peacefully; they need time to unwind before sleeping,’ says baby sleep expert Charmian Mead.

ARCHING THEIR BACK

WHAT IT MEANS… Accompanied by a bit of fussing, a baby arching their back can be a sign that they’re frustrated. However, back arching can also be a common sign that your baby is suffering from colic. ‘Colic is a term used to describe the discomfort felt by an infant between one and five months old and the extreme crying and screaming that happens, usually in the evening,’ says pediatric gastroenterologist Professor Mike Thomson. Some theories point to an immature digestive system and lactose sensitivity. It is also possible that air swallowing might account for some of the comics. Any significant problems with the child’s health – such as the lack of weight gain, excessive unexplained crying or distressed behavior – should be investigated.’ You can try experimenting with different feeding positions to prevent the swallowing of air – this could be the rugby ball position for breastfeeding, or sitting upright for a bottle feed.

GRABBING THEIR EARS

WHAT IT MEANS…Pain from the gums and jaw can sometimes transfer to the ear canal, so from as early as four months old, if you spot your little one grabbing and tugging on their ear, it could be a sign of teething – particularly if it’s accompanied by red, swollen gums, broken sleep, dribbling and drooling, crying and irritability. To ease teething pain, you can massage your baby’s gums with a bit of teething gel or teething granules, or give a dose of infant paracetamol (from two months). If your baby is not teething, the tugging can indicate an ear infection, so do get it checked by your GP.

BRINGING UP THEIR KNEES

WHAT IT MEANS… ‘Sometimes your infant will show signs of distress just after feeding. Their legs will kick and their whole body will squirm around as they try to get comfortable. This is usually the effect of air getting trapped in their stomach,’ says Emma. There are three winding techniques you can try when you notice this, advises health visitor and author Sarah Beeson. Sitting your baby very upright on your knee, holding them against your chest while you rub their back in circular motions, or laying them on your outstretched leg and gently bending their legs up, can all help.

DIFFERENT CRIES

WHAT IT MEANS… Midwife Denyse Kirby says, ‘It will take you a few weeks to work out that your baby cries in different ways to ask for or complain about different things. Until you decipher the crying code you will need to run through a checklist of the problems that may be troubling them.’ Your baby will usually cry because of pain, discomfort, hunger, loneliness, overstimulation, boredom or frustration and their cry will be different for each.

THE CRYING GAME

Maternity nurse Fiona Cooke explains what to look out for when interpreting your baby’s cries

HUNGRY CRY

This may start off quietly but will get louder until your baby is fed. However, there are earlier signs too; poking out their tongue or sucking on their hands.

TIRED CRY

A sleepy baby will have a fussy kind of cry that will get louder until it tails off with a kind of quiet sigh, almost as if the baby is saying, ‘Oh, I want to go to sleep.’

FRACTIOUS CRY

An over-stimulated baby needs soothing and calming, or the crying will often escalate to a scream.
It will have a pause at the end but then may start all over again.

FUSSY CRY

An uncomfortable baby may not always cry but instead will wriggle and fuss and won’t be able to settle to sleep. Try lifting them and patting their back for a burp.

DISTRESSED CRY

A baby in pain will scream – a very urgent noise that goes from nothing to instantly loud. This kind of cry is high pitched and can’t be ignored for a second.